I got insomnia the whole night the day before and now I am recovering. I was totally terrified at night and even though the daytime afterward, the fear is still lasting. Just like what happened when I was in secondary school. I once experienced a long period of insomnia that time and the fear seem infectious that I am still affected now. Body gets strained and headache whenever the panic visiting. Brain floods with non-sense frightening thoughts, drawing me to a black hole but I could hardly stop. My dear counsellor goes on a long holiday due to her serious illness. I do miss her for both her kindness and patience but at the same time, deeply worried about her health.
Panic comes and panic soon goes. I know. Whenever my faith is strong, believing myself deep in my heart, then I am sure I can get to sleep. I must be able to go through it, just like what I did before. I have had a long history of insomnia already but luckily all periods last short, not more than a week. It relapses and relapses and relapses and that is. I am used to. My old habit. I need to live with it, though not happily but calmly and peacefully. She can be my little angel reminding me never never undermining myself, pushing myself too hard, which I always do. I need to always be satisfied with myself, be good to myself.
Ok. As a reminder. Thank you insomnia.